South Park Self

some chucklehead's always trying to take over the world

I have déjà vu. There's a half-grown fluffy ginger tom with a white shirt front who's been wandering into our kitchen of a night and spraying, very slightly, somewhere I can't actually find. In the last couple of days he's become bolder, or possibly desperate, and wanders in while I'm cooking to dive head first into our cats' food bowls with every evidence of starvation, or to stand at the doorway making plaintive meeping noises. He's actually a very sweet and affectionate creature, and will headbutt my ankles and purr if I give him half a chance. This is pretty much the same extremely successful tactical plan followed by Ounce, although I don't think Ginger is a stray, he's very emphatically glossy, fluffy and beautiful. Nonetheless I am losing the will to chase him from the kitchen, which I suspect is a Bad Sign. We really don't need another cat.

In other news: pitch-perfect fairy tale by Catherynn M. Valente, The Girl Who Circumnavigated Fairyland In A Ship Of Her Own Making. Shades of Thackeray, Baum, Nesbit, all the good stuff. Matter-of-fact, off-beat, delectable. Look out for the soap golem and the flying leopard.

And, finally, annoying admin this week has driven me back into the arms of The Middleman's hyper-linguistic frivolity. Goofy Middleman Exclamations Du Jour: "Dagnabbit!" "Well, gosh!" "Scout's Honour!" "Swell!" "Shoot!" "Well, dagdiggity!" "Jeepers!" "Regoshdarneddiculous!" "Not a gosh-darned chance in heck!" and, memorably, "that was some darn fine cow-squirt!" Bonus points for the Jolly Fats Wehawkin Temp Agency. I feel much better now.
  • Current Mood: blah snuffly, Thursdayish
  • Current Music: shuffle - the Shins
Quota
Obviously the ginger can tell that you have a cat vacancy and after a respectable period of keeping his distance has now decided that the time has come to apply for the position. Ask him for references. Also, you totally need another cat if only to draw the beatings from Ounce. You'll have to get Ginger fixed, though.

There's a huge scarred ginger tom next door to us who I suspect is the father of most of the kittens in Obs. I keep threatening to P that I'll kidnap him and get him fixed. Also the calico sisters in the other next door who are always pregnant (with ginger kittens). Sigh, irresponsible pet-owners. There should be a law that you have to get your animal spayed unless you register for a breeder's certificate. Soon it will be kitten season again :(.
Re: Quota
I must admit, the entire tom thing narks me off. It's not sensible, fair or right in an urban environment. Particularly not my kitchen..
He's pretending to be a stray. Have you tried water pistols? Or tie a note around his neck: "Your cat is trying to adopt us. Help!"
No, see, he's got me there. I won't do the water pistols thing, and I'm very reluctant to shout and scream and chase him off. Ounce has basically been totally traumatised by that, and I'd rather put up with swabbing the kitchen every couple of days than inculcate another cat with the need to run any time anyone comes towards him. Clearly I welcome our furry overlords and wish to subscribe to their newsletter.
We don't have that issue.

Small Cat (who is no longer small at all), even though neutered, will happily slaughter any fur-bearing mammal within 200 yards of the house. He particularly enjoys torturing other cats to death.

He seems to have acquired my loathing of cats.

For the record, we still despise each other.
Huh. My damned cats are all dilettante fainting-couch types who don't progress much beyond growling. Particularly the male, who tends considerably more towards the gay hairdresser stereotype than the Chuck Norris. (Although, if it comes to that my gay hairdresser is an ex-dancer and can probably kick like a mule).

I find it curiously inevitable that a cat-hater of your legendary ilk should have ended up living with a sort of furry feline Fist of Death. Cosmic appropriateness ftw.
A blacklight can help you find where he's spraying.

That book sounds very interesting, and I still haven't done anything with that gift certificate yet.

I say dagnabbit all the time! It's my favorite non-swearing swear word. :)
Ooooh
I see a whole world of goth blacklight cat pee art :). Kinda Jackson Pollock, holding a spraying cat.

Come on, if a messy bed is art then anything is.
The book is not available for sale, it's online, being put up a chapter at a time. Not finished yet, but very well worth the wait.

Blacklight is a marvellously CSI sort of suggestion, and definitely worth a try. Thank you!
I dated a chap who worked for the police...apparenty there was an unwritten rule--no blacklights below the belt. Apparently most people wouldn't like what they saw!

My parents recently had a very pretty little black and white cat trying to adopt them. We called it She for a while ( it turned out to be a neutered male!) it was a bit matted and had clearly been living rough--seifer, entrenched cat was not pleased. Then it started biting, mostly MM, so we called it catattack but then it bite my mum badly and it got infected. It has gone to the home now--we did some sould searching, about the fact that biting the child was apparently not a banishing offense but biting the hand that feeds, well, that was a step to far!