South Park Self

wandering around with weapons scaring people for therapeutic purposes

Phooey. Unspecified bastards leaped over the garden wall this afternoon and kicked down the side door into the garage. This did them no good at all, as the alarm promptly went off, and they seem to have departed without actually taking anything. Annoying for us as well as them. I must say, though, it's curiously comforting to arrive home to an unexpectedly kicked-down door, to find the armed response company already reassuringly in possession. Wandering through a potentially devastated house is much less unpleasant when there's a nice, large dude with a gun taking point. For some reason, however, this is making me want to re-watch all my Vin Diesel movies. I may be incurably frivolous. It'll also have to wait until I've finished randomly watching Lord of the Rings, which is reassuringly full of nice, large dudes with swords.

I was off work yesterday with the gastric bug which seems to be doing the rounds, and am consequently disclaiming all responsibility for the more than unusually wayward nature of this post. Not eating much for thirty-six hours is making me rather light-headed. This is, however, possibly why, despite the assaults of South African crime and the lining of my own stomach, I'm in a vaguely up space. I shall now go and hit d_hofryn for all the latest in Castle, Fringe, Supernatural and Vampire Diaries, and then shall callously ignore it in order to vaguely perve Arwen, Aragorn and, for some reason, Boromir. I really like Boromir. I think it's the way he says "They have a cave troll."
  • Current Mood: blank vaguely up
  • Current Music: Red Hot Chilli Peppers
You guys need an electric fence. That way the alarm goes off and the nice men with guns come BEFORE any doors get knocked down.

You've had a real run of it lately - I hope this is the last. Also, get well soon.
We actually have spanky new outside sensors installed, but the hamfisted and troglodytic minions of the installation company seem constitutionally incapable of setting the damned things so that they aren't activated randomly on a daily basis, presumably by passing molecules of air. As a result of this we've been bypassing them when setting the alarm over the last several months, resulting in the door-kickage in question before any systems are alerted to repel intruders. The Evil Landlord will no doubt be Speaking Sharply to the incompetent minions about this. Shark tanks, she says darkly. Shark tanks.
We had the same problem in JHB, resulting in the same solution. We found, however, that at night the sensors were fine and didn't tend to give false alarms.

Now we have a new swanky system called Roboguard, that uses two beams per sensor and seems to be a lot more stable against false alarms - typically only monkeys and fleeing GOC*s set it off. Failing that, shark tanks!

(*Giant Orange Cats)
Re: Onoz!
I was afraid, for a horrible moment, that they'd grabbed the EL's gemstone collection, but fortunately it's in an unmarked box and they didn't. They took, it transpires, his drill and his heat gun, both of which he was planning to replace anyway.

The Hobbit is safe for the nonce, although the EL's idea of garage security until the door is replaced did involve supergluing the Hobbit to the doorstep. I dissuaded him from this solution by gently pointing out that most burglars are not seriously discommoded by orange felines patting their knees imploringly and going "prrrrrp!"