South Park Self

words are all I have

This morning I was in traffic next to a giant luxury 4x4 creature, which had a personalised numberplate reading, simply, "PRE-NUPT". I have been whiling away the morning speculating as to whether this was a lawyer or a satisfied divorcee. Either way, they have a lot of money.

While on the subject of random slogans, I was also entertained by a recent Daily Voice billboard which announced "ROAD DUG UP TO SAVE GOAT". This is beautifully cryptic, and would result in fascinating flash fiction should anyone be driven to attempt to construct the scenario which gave rise to it.

And Ursula Vernon gives us a wonderful term which completely describes and explains Twilight: Id-fic. Fiction which contents and appeals to deep, primitive, unrestrained desires, while not necessarily being any bloody good at all.

The last few weeks are catching up with me: I am exhausted, contralto, and inclined to snap when yet another student bangs repeatedly on my door in defiance of the notice which instructs them to knock and enter, because they won't hear me shout "Come in". Illiterate little buggers. On the upside, I am so tired that I can't even muster the energy to growl at them, which means they're getting a sort of slow-motion sympathy instead. I didn't even lose it yesterday when a particularly persistent little student mosquito, bored with my repeated refusal to grant him a place in Humanities since we're full and he applied way too late, emailed the Dean with a formal complaint about my, what was it, "misuse of authority". Since I was, in fact, simply implementing a faculty policy set by the Dean herself, she shot him satisfyingly down in righteous flames. Nonetheless, I think I'd have been rather miffed if I had the energy.
  • Current Mood: exhausted ded
Anyone too stupid to read admission deadlines isn't going to make it anyway. I hope you have an extra-boring standard cut-and-paste reply for these special snowflakes, preferably one that says "thank you for your interest blah blah, kindly apply timeously for next year's intake should you so wish" :D
We have a standard response - sorry, you're too late, we're full, no exceptions, please approach us again when first semester results are out and we'll see if any space has opened up. I think, to date, I've given it to him six times.
Misuse of authority! Nice. I wish I'd had half the self-confidence these students seem to possess when I was an undergrad. Though perhaps not their lack of self-awareness and connection to reality.
Actually, given the gamut of "logic", pleading, manipulative misrepresentation, attempts to bypass, attempts to overpass, threat, persistence and sheer narcissistic gall this student has run, I'm darkly suspecting he's a borderline sociopath.
My goat fell down a drain. I'm sorry, I was going to the temple to marry that goat. Yes, we were quite drunk. I don't remember. I'm sorry. So now we'll have to dig up the road and pray to the nine that Draugr haven't eaten my goat.

Edited at 2012-02-17 08:06 pm (UTC)
Good lord. Also, hee. A fine effort, sir. I didn't even think of that sort of thing; I had a vague mental image of a terribly valuable pedigree goat reclining on a fainting couch complaining about the noise of carriage wheels on the road outside. The Victorians put down straw; this seems the more drastic response of a high-ranking nobleman.