South Park Self

o captain my captain

Various wamblings in the comments of my last post have vouchsafed me an Insight, or possibly a Revelation, or at very least a Brainstorm. Which is to say, gawsh, but there are an awful lot of really rather attractive men prancing around contemporary popular culture under the sobriquet of Captain. Is this officially a Thing now? have we all succumbed to the appeal of militarism, or authority, or uniforms? Also, boots. Captains wear good boots. And, judging by the evidence, a lot of them wear good coats.

I have naturally been led to this insight because of the recent ComicCon Firefly reunion panel, which has caused loyal Browncoats the world over to shed a tear and retreat into a Firefly rewatch in sheer denial. And Firefly, of course, features Captain Malcolm Reynolds, whose appeal I find I am totally unable to sum up in a sentence. Possibly because his particular balance of debonair, wounded, embittered, heroic, decent, capable, loyal, quixotic, authoritative and accident-prone is so delicate. Also, spaceship. It trumps fast cars.

captain mal reynolds

Bonus Captain Hammer, although he doesn't really fit into the Desirable Men category. Captain Hammer is a tool. Also, he doesn't have a coat. Hmmm. Maybe I'm onto something here.


Captain Jack Sparrow, of course, needs no justification, and besides, will make schedule5 happy. The only possible thing which might mitigate the Johnny Depp effect - debonair, capable, accident-prone with a side order of confident eccentricity - is Captain Jack's personal hygiene.


Ah, Captain Jack. The other Captain Jack. Pity the American Torchwood was such a dud. Captain Jack Harkness hits some of the authoritarian/capable/military buttons, although I find him overly smooth, but mostly he's fun because he's such a slut.


And, finally, the ultimate clean-cut all-American boy, Captain as superhero, very heavy on the decent/capable/loyal/quixotic/heroic/authoritarian front and only slightly wounded. Captain America, in the recent Avengers iteration. Awwww.


I am open to further submissions in the Captain category in the comments. Likewise, further theories as to the appeal. Counter-argument: three of the above Captains fall in some way under Joss Whedon's ambit, so perhaps it's a personal fetish. It still seems odd.
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:) Nothing quite makes up for a day of tedious work like a picture of Captain Jack Sparrow. (Captain Reynolds, or course, is just a welcome side order).
Re: Happy
Horrors, I never replied to this, thus losing a perfect opportunity for a secondary Jack Sparrow in the iconage department.

I am happy to improve your day in some small way. Or perhaps some eccentrically appealing way. Not that one needs an excuse for dishy captains :>.
I must be getting old, I'm rather enjoying the staid. And, yes, I tend to think of Jack Sparrow as circa the first two films only. Thereafter there's a quite unconscionable degree of misdirected narrative bloat.

Totally with you on the smug, too. As I said, too smooth.
Captain Mal - my heart belongs to you! And now I'm finally watching Castle in great viewing orgies, I'm loving Nathan Fillion even more for his Firefly references :)
Yes, the injokes are a huge geeky pleasure. My mother, on my recommendation, has been enjoying Castle, and finds Mr. Castle appealing. I may tempt her into Firefly on the strength of it. *plots*...
Lol! I just sent my mother back home with the first season of Castle on a flashstick :D Sadly, she has never managed to 'get' anything vaguely sci-fi oriented, and found Buffy confusing... :(
My devotion to Han Solo is cautious but undying; nonetheless, (a) he's not usually referred to as "Captain", and (b) he's not really contemporary. Alas. Contemporary adventures of Han Solo, supposing we could prevent George Lucas from screwing them up completely, would be amazing.
Does Captain Bumpycat also count? (flutters eyelashes) I was gazetted on April the 1st, which I hope is not an April Fool's joke ...
Gawsh! Captain Bumpy, eh? Sounds impressive. Also, congrats, I somehow missed knowing about it when it happened. Certainly it counts!

I am wambling through London or environs on the weekend of the 1st and 2nd September, do I have even the faintest chance of coinciding with you in your mad military whirl? I still need to meet your Ladies, TM.
Captain Picard?! Captain Kirk?! Captain Sisko?! Also Captain Sulu in the later bits.

Sheesh, y u snub the Star Treks?!
Re: Gasp!
As in re Han Solo, above, I point you to the important word "contemporary". I admit cheerfully and without prejudice that Jean-Luc is a fine figure of a Captain, but he hasn't been be-Captaining us gladsomely in the last five years or so. To our great loss. Even less so Kirk, although here I am unable to judge his relative Captain quality owing to lack of exposure.